


Blame

by Notmenotthemtwo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Feelings Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27837478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notmenotthemtwo/pseuds/Notmenotthemtwo
Summary: God talks about Castiel.
Kudos: 1





	Blame

If I could, I would. But I won't. I may have created everything, but as much as I love to insert Myself in My story. I won't. Because this isn't My story. It is his. The self hating Angel of Thursday, Castiel. You love him. You really do. But you won't say anything. 

You blame Me for writing this. You blame Me for caring. You blame Me for having a best friend. You blame Me for making you fall in love. I didn't. I gave everyone Free Will. Even angels. Michael follows the rules, but I wish he wasn't so harsh with everyone. I was happy when Anna fell. At least she had freedom. 

What about you? When you did what I told, you were expecting another boring job. But the moment you touched that man's soul something inside of you changed. A spark. That spark became your free will. You were tough at first. Cold even. But after awhile your heart grew. You cared. You cared about humanity. You cared about his brother. You cared about his friends. Then you cared about him. 

Then you died. It was messy. But I brought you back. My son didn't know I was there with you. Zachariah looked surprised, so did the brothers. You were confused. You were dead. Yes you were. But I kept you from going to The Empty. Instead, I hid you. 

Then you died a second time. This time around, I couldn't catch you in time. I had to wait till my sons fell in the Cage. When I knew it was safe, I brought you back. But not before giving you a fancy new upgrade. Your now best friend was happy to see you. You weren't the only one I sent back. The hunter returned as well. It was bittersweet. His brother was in Hell. 

Years pass. You two became closer. He gifted you a gift. At first you didn't know what to do with it but you took his old Walkman and listened to it religiously over and over again. It wasn't the first time you listened to music, but it was the first that you truly listened and enjoyed it. Only because he really liked the band. 

By this time you started having feelings. But you surpressed them. It was silly. You felt foolish about your feelings and chocked it up to your duties. But seeing him made you happy. Like the light inside of you wasn't bright enough. He was your light. It warmed your heart like no other. 

Then tragedy stuck. You died again. You sacrificed yourself to save your friends, even though you knew it was fruitless. This time around I didn't bring you back. Your adopted son did. You heard his calls and woke up, angering the Creature. 

It tried to make you go back to sleep. But you didn't. You were too stubborn. You and It argued. Then It whispered your secret. You felt anger at the revelation. So much so you forced It to throw you out. The sunshine shined on your face, but your true happiness was waiting.

Fatherhood. It was new to you. You forced yourself to forget. Having a son around was challenging. But you did it. He wasn't just your son. He was all of you's. You all did your best, even though he scared your friends.

Then things changed. He lost his grace protecting his family. He became human. Then he passed away. You and your friends were heartbroken. Then one of them had a idea. To bring him back. You were surprised to hear it, but you were just glad to see your child again. You left to go to Heaven, and they stayed to watch over the ritual.

What you didn't know is The Empty invaded. It wanted the boy. It killed anything in Its path, and you were worried. When you two were reunited, you were filled with joy. What you didn't know is the angel you helped was It. It wanted Its property. So to protect your son, you made a deal. The Empty listened to your terms, but It knew what you wanted. It taunted you. The moment you felt True Happiness, is when It would be summoned. It said "The moment you have a moment of true happiness and feel the sunshine on you face, that's when I'll come. To make you suffer." You didn't understand, not till a year later.

It was after I left. I won't go into the boring details, but as you were running from Death, who tried killing your best friend is when you had to fulfill your promise long ago. To save the Righteous Man. 

You led him to a dead end. Or he led you. But it didn't matter, you had to protect him. Once Death was locked out, he regretted leading you both to a trap. Despondent, he apologized. As you felt the spell weakening, you had a choice. 

That is when you realized. Your True Happiness.

You told him everything in your heart. Told him everything you saw him as, love. Love for being caring. Love for being there for his brother. Love for protecting the world. Being love himself. Then when you told him the truth, that is when he realized. 

That is when he asked you to stop. You didn't. You had to protect him. That moment with tears streaming down your face. That is when you had to make that sacrifice. 

"I love you."

You died with the love in your heart. Even if he didn't say anything back, that confession alone was worth everything. 

Guess what. You stopped blaming Me. But I sent you to him because I knew he needed someone. That someone was you.


End file.
